Most articles on boredom identify the cause of boredom as ‘not knowing what to do’ and go on to provide a list of things you can engage in to battle your boredom.
This article is different.
Instead of battling boredom, I suggest that you accept it and find out what makes you feel so damn uncomfortable when you are doing nothing.
First, let me tell you about the last time I felt bored.
A little while ago, I was stuck in Bali because of the world-wide travel bans following the coronavirus outbreak. My original flight was supposed to leave the 24th of March, but it was cancelled the day before. That meant I had to stay in Bali for a little while longer…
The result was that I was in Bali for ‘Nyepi’, which is the Hindu new year. In the West, we tend to celebrate the new year by lighting fireworks, partying, and drinking until the wee hours in the morning. The result is that a lot of us start the new year with a massive hangover… lovely
In Bali, New Year’s Eve also involves celebration and playing with fire, but there is a deeper spiritual meaning. It is called the Bhuta Yajna ritual, during which they parade demon-like statues known as the ‘ogoh-ogoh’. These are built by the Balinese people (often the youth) out of bamboo and paper. They are thought to absorb the negative energy of the spectators and ward of evil spirits. At the end of the parade, they are all burned in a large public bonfire to satisfy the god of the underworld.
The day after, however, is not spent recovering from a hangover but is a day of silence and self-reflection.
This day has a few rules:
- No use of fire, lights, or electricity
- No one is allowed to work
- No one is allowed to travel
- Everyone is required to fast
So basically you stay at home, don’t eat, and sit in silence since you can’t listen to music, watch TV, or go on the internet. The Balinese people usually take this as an opportunity for self-reflection and think of ways to improve themselves throughout the upcoming year.
Quite a different way to start the new year!
Being in Bali during this time made me realise how over-stimulated Western society is and how most Westerners would struggle with boredom during Balinese new year, including me…
Then the boredom set in…
I must admit I was struggling a little bit on this day. The week prior I was consumed by articles about the coronavirus and busy trying to figure out whether I wanted to return home and how I would arrange that.
In other words, I was spending a lot of time on my phone and was thus over-stimulated.
Now, when I was suddenly cut off from all the stimulation and forced to just sit in silence and do nothing, I felt fairly uncomfortable and needed some time to adjust. It was crazy to notice my habits around the usage of electronic devices; the number of times I wanted to go check my phone or look up something on the internet was scary.
I am used to regularly meditating and thus ‘doing nothing’ should come easy to me. But after a time of intense stimulation due to the coronavirus drama, I struggled and started to notice how uneasy my state of being was; hell, I felt really bored in certain moments. I constantly wanted to check my phone or eat some food to comfort that uneasy feeling.
But of course, that was not allowed during Nyepi…
Overstimulation
Unfortunately, being overstimulated is normal in Western society and it is messing with our ability to sit in silence and reflect. I think most other Westerners would feel a similar feeling of unease and boredom in a day of complete silence.
Our senses are over-stimulated and we like it. In fact, we are addicted to it. As soon as the stimulation and drama get to a minimum, we suddenly feel bored. This is why the news always tries to make things as dramatic as possible, even if it stretches or ignores the truth. Drama sells because we like the kind of stimulation that spikes our adrenaline.
Compare our life to that of someone centuries ago. There was no TV, no internet, no phones, no cars, and no aeroplanes or trains. All you had to keep yourself busy were the happenings in your small village. The only mental stimulation was the weekly sermon given by your local priest or, if you were lucky enough to be able to read and afford a book, you might have had one or two books at your disposal. Put a modern person in that situation and they wouldn’t know what to do; they would probably get bored and agitated in no time.
Why are we so dependent on external stimulants?
We use external stimulants as a remedy to boredom. That is, however, only a temporary solution. External situations can change and get compromised, leaving you with a lack of stimulants. Therefore, dissatisfaction will come back biting you in the arse when those external stimulants are gone. In other words, when you live like this, you are not in control of your inner state.
I’d say that is not ideal.
You have to make a choice… Do you want your level of content to be determined by external things that are not fully in your control? Or do you want to take charge and learn how to work from the inside out, which will allow you to find contentment at ANY time?
The more empowering way to fix boredom is to work from the inside out, instead of from the outside in. When it comes to doing this, we can learn something from the silent day of the Balinese new year. As mentioned before, it is a day of introspection and self-reflection, which are crucial activities for changing our inner state.
You might have developed a hatred for introspection, possibly due to self-reflection assignments in school or at work. Most people are not comfortable with introspection, which is why they use external stimulants to avoid it.
It is, however, one of the most important skills to develop in life. I believe there are fundamentally two reasons why we get bored and avoid engaging in introspection:
1. You are uncomfortable with your own emotions.
Let’s face it, a lot of the times when we binge-watch Netflix, eat unhealthy snacks, or listen to some music, it is because we are feeling difficult emotions and are looking for external things to comfort us. There is such a vast array of entertainment that can provide an escape that it can be hard to resist the temptation. To overcome boredom forever, however, we must fix our inner state.
The solution: sit with your emotions
Instead of giving in to the impulse to escape your emotions with external stimulants, decide to accept them and observe them. When you start paying attention to your feelings, you will realise that there are deeper emotions that you need to deal with.
Whenever you notice an undesirable emotion coming up, instead of instantly reacting by eating junk food or shouting at your spouse, learn how to take a step back and process them. Facing these emotions will be scary and difficult, but be courageous and do it anyway!
The first step in processing your emotions is to acknowledge, accept and embrace them. After that, instead of identifying with the emotions, become the observer. Don’t react to them. Instead, listen for what your emotions are trying to tell you; They are an invaluable source of information. Learning to process them will grant you access to this information and will prevent you from getting overwhelmed by them.
The result is that instead of emotions controlling you (like in boredom when they make you eat unhealthy snacks), you will have control over your emotions. This means that you will be able to sit in peace regardless of the external circumstances.
Furthermore, when you start engaging in this process, there is no reason to be bored anymore: the wide spectrum of emotions within you provide an infinite amount of information to process. Mastering your emotions will lead to deeper self-understanding and, ultimately, to becoming a better person.
2. You think you are a boring person.
I don’t know who originally said this, but I thought it was funny when I heard it: ‘only boring people get bored’. This might sound ridiculous to you and I hope I haven’t offended you if you do get bored sometimes, but think about it; if you are alone and don’t have external factors to keep you entertained and that makes you feel bored, you must consider yourself to be a boring person.
If you are an interesting person, there is no reason to get bored when you are by yourself.
The solution: explore your interesting side
Now, I don’t think anyone truly is a boring person. People just aren’t in touch with their interesting side and haven’t truly explored the creativity and beauty of their mind.
I already mentioned that observing your emotions can be wildly interesting and helpful in becoming a better person. Your thoughts are equally interesting. Start observing what your mind is thinking and ask it some difficult questions: ‘What is the meaning of life for me?’, ‘Who am I?’, ‘What are my values, and am I being true to them?’. Use your creativity and curiosity to figure out things about yourself and to explore some of the deeper questions in life. These types of questions have kept philosophers busy for centuries, so they should be able to keep you busy for some time too!
Practice
As with everything, practice makes perfect. I suggest you take some time out of each day and dedicate it to introspection. This can take up various forms: meditation, active contemplation, journaling, talking with a life coach, etc.; options enough!
If you want to go hard mode, introduce days of silence and reflection into your life, just like they do in Bali. Get rid of all external stimulants; no talking, no internet, no electricity, and no food. Being alone without external stimulation forces you to break out of habitual patterns and provides an excellent opportunity to reflect on life and explore your inner world. Yes, this will be hard, but who doesn’t like a good challenge?
Speaking of challenges, if you want to go expert mode, enrol yourself in a Vipassana meditation course. These are 10-day silent meditation retreats. During your stay there, you are not allowed to talk, no touching, no cell phones, no eye contact… heck, you’re not even allowed to read or write.
They truly know what it means to remove all distractions!
On top of that, you will be sitting on the floor for 11 hours a day meditating and observing whatever comes up.
This might sound like torture to you, but trust me, it is worth it. You will learn to become comfortable with yourself and achieve peace of mind. If you keep up the practice of meditation after the course, you can reap the benefits of it for the rest of your life. Many people that have gone on Vipassana retreats claim that it has changed their life for the better; it is bound to do something positive for you too!
Furthermore, it is donation-based. You can join for free and just pay whatever it is worth to you after the course. This makes it extremely accessible and removes the obstacle of committing to paying for something you’re not sure will suit you. They have centres all over the world, so what are you waiting for? Find a centre near you and sign up here: https://www.dhamma.org/
0 reacties